|♫ somewhere out there ♫|
and what brought on this latest bout of feverish searching? (ok, it wasn't really feverish. but i did have to go to several, SEVERAL, different pages before i found my
wait... i take that back. when i interviewed damon albarn (lead singer of blur) for my famous 90s radio show, and he asked me to run away with him i took off without so much as a "smell ya later." poor mark. i'm sure my life as mrs. damon wasn't a very happy one though, what with all the drugs and rock angst. (serves me right, the wench!) it would have been nice though to have been unfaithful with someone i actually crush on in real life, such as ewan or the dashing bill nighy, but you can't control what the depths of the mind will create whilst in dreamland. one's brain wants what it wants, no matter how bizarre. (i appreciate the irony of my subconscious choosing damon while i would consciously choose bill nighy).
anyway, when i awoke my thoughts turned to this crush and wonderings of where he might be right now (he moved after my sophomore year), of which i have satiated my curiosity as described above. (i love the internet.) but is it terrible/normal that seeing he is married gave me an involuntary ping of disappointment? as if there is any chance under xenu's great yellow sun that i would ever even see this person again, much less become involved with him. that ship sailed in the 9th grade (and come to think of it, he was taken then too, by thumb girl* no less, ugh) and that was a one-way sailing. not to mention i barely knew him. not to mention that i am very happy as is with my best man person. so why the mini-feels? and why do i have dream crushes all the live long time? (most of which are reoccurring. and run the gamut from people i liked, people i despised, people i crushed on from afar, people whom i now know would not have been a good match for me, and people i barely knew. i could write a whole n'other blog post.) i blame the movies and tv. and music. and books. stupid books. all i can say is people are weird, and i am one of them. one weird, swirly-brained person.
|you're a little late, cat. but i'll take your advice.|
(*thumb girl was what i called crush's girlfriend. she was one of the football team junior managers the following fall, and when i'd see her down by the bench at games i'd close one eye, hold up my thumb, and block her right out of existence. very therapeutic, i highly recommended. two thumbs up. <--ahahaha. i will go now.)